If you are reading this blog I am pretty sure you will recognise yourself in this...my head hits the pillow and my mind starts racing reliving events and telling me how rubbish I am, or, your mind is telling you that you are worthless, you can not do that, you are rubbish, no one likes you or you do not deserve it...the list and negative chatter goes on.
Did your negative chatter come out of nowhere and has got bigger and bigger over time?
Yes? That is exactly how it works, very much like a seed starting off small and growing bigger and bigger over time, and just like the seed it has grown because we feed it.
My personal journey had years and years of negative chatter including that people didn't like me and that I was not good enough. Gaining a basic understanding of how the unconscious mind works and it's rules along with simple techniques I have got my negative chatter well and truly under control, when I say under control, I mean I am in charge of my mind and its chatter.
I recently when through my own personal development journey and discover the root cause of my limiting belief and constant negative chatter and it was when I was 2 years old. This negative chatter then grew and grew over the years.
Why did it grow over time?
It grew over time because it got fed - how does it get fed...it get's fed as one of the many rules our unconscious mind lives by is that it seeks proof to prove you are right.
So whatever you are thinking it will seek proof to prove you are right - meaning if you think no one likes you it will filter the way we interact in the world to highlight all the thinks that makes us believe we are not liked.
You unconscious mind does this pretty much for everything we do...going to a party, if you think it will be great, it will show all the great things and vice versa...if you decided to buy a new car, you all of a sudden see lots more of those cars on the road. It filters to prove you are right, no matter what you think.
So if we have negative chatter going on you will filter to give you evidence to back it up, the more you do this the bigger the chatter becomes and eventually it becomes this massive negative monster that is ruling our life.
Here are the cool bits...
This is just something you do...meaning if you do it, it means you can not do it too. I am not going to lie and say that now you know this it will stop instantly. Just like when you learnt to walk it took time with lots of bumps and falls on the way - you now do walking without any conscious effort. Learning new skills takes practice - changing your default thinking into deliberate thinking.
Since when we were babies learning to walk and with all the stumbles it is OK to have stumbles doing this. Just like then with a little encouragement you got up and went again - this time it is up to you, first thing you need to do is if you catch yourself doing negative chatter is acknowledge it 'I am doing negative chatter'. Acknowledging is not beating yourself up, you had a stumble and that's OK, if you do it, you can not do it. Make a choice and decision what thoughts do you want - be deliberate.
You need to be specific...
Your unconscious mind will do as it's told...you just have to be really clear and specific with what you as it to do.
Don't think of a blue tree...I told you not to think of a blue tree...
Your unconscious mind firstly has to think of something before it doesn't think of it...so if you tell it what you don't want...guess what it will do exactly that...so you need to tell it what you do want...be specific...really specific!
Change you're physiology...
It is really easy to get into a negative mood when you are sat down, head down and head in hands...this is because your body has recorded that these positions = negative thinking. So if you change your physiology you can change your mood. Try it...sit down, look downwards and think of something negative...notice the feelings you have, take a tour of your body noticing all the feelings. Now stand up, look up and smile...try in vain to think of the same thing and have the same feelings...take a tour of your body and notice the different feelings.
Talk and listen...
Your unconscious mind will talk at you endlessly if you let it and whilst it is talking you are listening. You can stop yourself from listening to it by talking yourself - reciting something back in your head or out loud will stop the internal chatter. Singing a song that is positive every time the chatter starts can create a new programme and anchor to stop the negativity. If you do not like singing out loud you can do it in your head. At first it will take a number of times singing the song over and over, then all of a sudden you will only need a few lines or even to just think about it.
Hakalau is part of Hawaiian practice of Huna - the practice is part of meditation where you allow your vision to go into peripheral vision, letting your field of vision go as wide as it will go. When your eyes are peripheral vision you can not have any chatter - the moment your eyes start to come back into foveal vision (focused and straight ahead) the chatter returns. Simply when it does just go back into peripheral vision.
These alone are simple and effective control techniques and can all be done anywhere at anytime without anyone else knowing.
These techniques are just a starting point for removing the root cause of your limiting belief or decision and as part of Therapeutic NLP Coaching and a Breakthrough you can gain eliminate the root cause, creating an increase in mental energy, clarity, focus, motivation and confidence to make the changes you deserve. A Breakthrough is a powerful and intensive process over 2-days where we work together to find the biggest root cause, which when removed eliminates all other limiting decision and beliefs.
I would love to read your thoughts and feedback on using these techniques - if you would like more information send me a message via the page or social media.